Hello and a warm welcome to the 11 new subscribers to Jump! this month
Firstly, thank you all who provided me with feedback and comments on the 1st issue sent out last month. I’m really really glad you enjoyed it and got some value and benefits from it.
This is one of the feedback comments I got from it:
“Thanks for the newsletter it is really inspiring stuff. Everything has gone to pot today with a print job of mine here at work. I decided to check my email and then read your newsletter and am now returning to battle with a smile but without the scowl I had before.”
That alone to me, makes writing this free ezine worthwhile ;o)
I’m often told how lucky I am to have the life I live, and if often surprise me as I think luck (or perhaps one can call it – having faith, leaving it to the Universe?) really is one part of it. Most of it has been to do with the fact that I have worked out and decided what it is I want, and then chosen to go for it. So it’s a 3-step process – clarify, define and decide, that is to make the choice, to take action.
A lot of people firstly don’t actually know what they want because they don’t take some time to work it out. Me, fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your chosen perspective!) I’ve always had a billion things I wanted to try out, I still have lots of things I want to achieve, to experience, to learn. I put it down to natural curiosity and interest in living a full expressive inspired life. And before you ask my inspiration comes from a lot of things, inspiration is everywhere around you open your eyes, your mind and your heart to it (but that’s another article!).
There’s a saying that we are not physical beings living a spiritual life but spiritual beings living a physical life. With that in mind I find it easy to be inspired to defining what it is I want to experience for the relatively short time I get here on Planet Earth. Having faced death also helps in getting things into perspective in the sense that there isn’t any point waiting, waiting for what exactly? Decide what you want now (for really now is all we have but yet again that’s another article!), most things in a successful person’s life don’t just “happen”.
If you were really to ask them about it, they will tell you that luck has only been part, not all of it, that they knew first what it is they wanted, they had an end goal in mind when they set out to reach it, and that the moment they decided, it set things into motion to achieving what they want, things started to fall into place – the ‘luck’ then kicked in.
So, to continue on from last month’s issue, this month’s feature article is on how to define what you want – in other words how to set goals. This is essentially an inkling into how I work as a coach in helping clients define their goals, I hope you find it useful at the most in getting your brain thinking, getting you to use your noodle towards getting what you want in your life.
Lastly, do tell me what you like, don’t like, and want to see in this newsletter! With your help, readership and recommendation to others my hope is that Jump! will develop into something that you gives you a very good feeling when you see it in your inbox - enjoy!
Until next month, be sweet, be peace, be true, be you,
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Recommendations and offers
FREE trial coaching session
FREE trial coaching session: I am offering all my newsletter subscribers the opportunity to get clear on what you really want through a complimentary 45 minutes coaching session. The sessions are very limited so it will be a matter of first in first served. My complimentary sessions are designed to give you focus and clarity in the area of your life that is most important to you. It will also give you the opportunity to ask any questions you may have about the way I coach or coaching in general. To register for your session please click here.
If you have a friend, work colleague or family member who might be interested in a FREE trial session all they have to do is subscribe to the Jump! Newsletter, by the end of October. To take advantage of this offer, they can subscribe here NOW!
Book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Steven R. Covey
As I started to think about what book to recommend to you from my library of wonderful books the doorbell went and lo and behold my order from Amazon arrives - talk about serendipitous! Always so exciting getting new inspirational books!
This month’s book may well sound familiar to you as it’s been around for 15 years as an international bestseller as one that has guided many individuals and businesses to successful change, stemming from an approach that stems from principles, or core values if you like. In other words, looking at what’s really important, what matters most as a starting point to making and adapting to changes. I’ve wanted to read this book for years and it’s come at a point in my professional and personal life where I can really take on board what it is teaching and implement it effectively in its step-by-step approach.
The time-management matrix has been particularly useful in its reminder of how we often spend our time reacting to circumstances and situations and “urgent matters that are important or not important” and spend less time on things that are “important but not urgent”, yet if we switched this and spent time on the latter, then the urgent stuff (often crises and unimportant urgent stuff) are less likely to crop up and take up our time.
Those that spend most of their time reacting to things that are urgent, assuming that they are also important struggle as one problem after another crops up, knocks them down and wipes them out before they are faced by another that knocks them down again. Covey says the reality is that the urgency of these matters is often based on the priorities and expectations of others, that:
“Urgent matters are usually visible. They press on us; they insist on action. They’re often popular with others. They’re usually right in front of us. And often they are pleasant, easy, fun to do. But so often they are unimportant!
Importance, on the other hand, has to do with results. if something is important, it contributes to your mission, your values, your high priority goals. We react to urgent matters (crises, deadline-driven projects, interruptions, some calls, some meetings, some mail, reports).
We react to urgent matters. Important matters that are not urgent (prevention, relationship building, productive capabilities, activities, planning, organising, recognising new opportunities) require more initiative, more proactivity. We must act to seize opportunity, to make things happen...if we don't have an idea of what is important, of results we desire in our lives, we are easily diverted into responding to the urgent.”
I believe this book is very useful for anyone at management level in the workplace, as well as for personal management in the home, and family life too. First it helps you look at things from a different perspective, see things are they really are. It helps you question and asks great questions (like any good coach does) such as “What one thing could you do in your personal or professional life that, if you did on a regular basis, would make a tremendous positive difference in your life?“
Buy it from
Amazon here.
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Featured Article
Defining what you really, really, REALLY want
So many people go through their lives not knowing what they want. They drift aimlessly, like rudder-less ships, or stuck in a rut, stagnant. It can often be because, like rudder-less ships there are no clear directions. And without direction one can feel like there’s something missing, and with that is a sense of restlessness, of stress, of anxiety, lack of confidence, poor concentration levels, without determination, patience or tenacity, merely existing not living to the full. These are people without any goals.
When you define what it is you want, that is when you set yourself a goal, you have the opportunity to focus on something that though you may not achieve, will have bought you insights and learning along the way, dispelling those feelings of stress, anxiety, directionless or feeling stuck and instead having a sense of achievement that helps you feel more confident, more self-assured, more aware.
Of course it takes more than just defining what we want to actually achieve our goals, but knowing what we want is a very good place to start. A lot of us know what we don’t want but can sometimes get stuck at knowing what we want. This can be a result of social or cultural conditioning. For example we know what our parents want for us to be, want us to want, to have. We know what we ‘should’ be, ‘should’ want, ‘should’ have because society says so, because that’s what everybody does or have.
When trying to make a choice, how often have you said to yourself “I know what I should do, should have…”? And did you feel a little uncomfortable with it? Like the choice doesn’t sit right, it doesn’t feel right in your heart? Sometimes it can be because we have taken on other people’s wants and desires instead of our own.
How often do we stop and question ourselves and ask “Hey that’s what my teacher, my mother/father, friend wants for me, but what do I want?” Defining what you want, setting the right goal for you, can make all the difference to you.
How do you set goals?
As a coach I spend a fair bit of time helping clients define and design their personalized goals. It’s a simple process and easy to do. Some people have lots of things they want to achieve in different areas of their lives and this can sometimes make it difficult to narrow down, focus on one or three and get on with doing it so they don’t do it at all.
Or they really have no idea what they want. When you set goals, when you are defining what you want. One important thing at this stage, do not trouble yourself with all the how’s – how are you going to achieve it. That comes later, for now focus just on what you really truly want. Here are some tips to help you work out one to three goals:
- Choose 3 areas of your life where you feel you’d like to see a change in within 3 months
In order to choose 3 areas, think in terms of life areas – e.g work/business; health; family; social life/friends; creativity; relationships; emotional life (e.g confidence, stress, anxiety) finances. Which of these would you MOST like to see change? Which area would make the most difference in your life if you made changes in that area?
Choose what is important to you today, and still will be in a few months. To check how important it is to you, measure it with a scale of 1 to 10, with 0 being totally unimportant and 10 being very important, ask yourself on scale of 1 to 10 how important is it to you to have this thing?
The reason we choose 3 goals is, in my experience as a coach, choosing more than 3 goals can be distracting, with too many things to focus on at once which results in little being actually achieved, a case of spreading yourself too thinly.
On the other hand, focusing on just one area can have a negative impact on your work-life balance, and over-focusing can often can lead to attachment to the outcome. What does that mean? Well, have you ever wanted something so much, that it became so crucial to have this thing (new job, promotion, house, relationship) that you found you became attached to a particular end result? Which in fact may not be the best ideal result and you just got in your own way instead? One way of letting go of a particular end result is to focus on the other 2 desired key goals.
- Choose something that is going to inspire you.
If you’re not inspired by it then it’s going to be very difficult to get motivated to make it happen! Choose words that mean something to you personally, make it shine. For example a previous client wanted to have financial freedom. Now that as a goal “To have financial” isn’t particularly inspiring when you read or say it aloud. There’s no energy to it. It’s too vague, meaningless, and impersonal.
After some discussion on what that really meant to him – like what would he do if he was financially free? He said he wanted to go on a trip to learn how to play drums in Africa, we were then able to be more specific and succinct with his words, something that was personal to him, and we came up with “To bang on in Ghana”, which was a lot more personal, a lot more inspiring (and thus motivating) to him.
- Make it a challenging goal.
If it’s not challenging enough, most likely it won’t be inspiring enough either, and thus you won’t be motivated to achieve it. There is a fine balance to having the goal have just the right amount of challenge to it. If it’s too easy you may not find it inspiring enough, you may not ant it enough, plus if it’s too easy then why haven’t you achieved it already? And if it’s too challenging you will be put off and never get going in taking action to make it happen. Be realistic with what you can achieve in your specific (say 3 months) time frame, but without loosing the inspiration.
The key to knowing whether it is challenging enough is to ask yourself whether you have that butterfly-in-your-stomach feeling – that mixture of feeling nervous (but not terrified) and excited at the same time. You should be smiling (secret smile or beaming!) when you read the goal out loud to yourself – this means it’s inspiring, you’re excited at the thought of having whatever it is you’ve set as your goal. If you are too anxious and not smiling (even a little) then you will feel it in your body, you will be too tensed and definitely not smiling! Make a note of how it feels in your body, as your body (not your thinking head) generally gives you the truest feeling as to how you feel about it.
If you are working on defining your goal without a coach then you might make it a little less challenging. However if you choose to work with the support of a coach then usually, you are paying to be challenged to go further than you normally would on your own. A coach stretches you further than you can go on your own, asks you to go beyond your comfort zone to achieve the things you may feel were impossible with fulfilling rewards – the impossible become possible, and as your comfort zone expands, so do you with what you can and do achieve!
- Make the goal measurable.
The reason we have measures is so that you know how close or how far you are to achieving it, as well as being motivational. For example if you wanted a goal in the area of finances, e.g To have financial freedom, what would that actually mean in reality? How would you know when you were financially free? Is it to be out of debt? Would it be to have saved £1000 by the end of 3 months? The figure of £1000 is your measure. Work that into your goal wording if you can.
- Write it down!
Be specific, succinct and inspiring in the words you choose. As every writer knows the right words have power. Writing the final chosen words down in a short succinct sentence with a measure will help you crystallise what you want. After all goals are wishes written down.
TAKE ACTION: If you are really stuck in coming up with a defined inspiring, challenging and measurable goal for you, try visualising it. Close your eyes and take yourself on a fantasizing daydream trip. Imagine what you would like in your ideal scenario – again don’t think about how, just imagine yourself there already.
Use all of your senses, what would it look like, feel like, sound like? Write it down in a descriptive short story style if you feel more comfortable writing. Completely go for it, no holding back, ignore the buts, what and hows, imagine you already have the money, the confidence, the whatever it is you think you need – what does it look like? How would you feel? It is said if you can see it in your mind, if you can visualize it, then you can achieve it. If you can’t see it work on it until you can see it clearly, in some detail.
The trick to defining what you want without getting caught up in the wretched how’s (those self-sabotaging “But how can I? How do I? Thoughts) is to begin with the end in mind. Really feel it.
It can sometimes take a while to work out or come to the surface but trust your instincts, what your gut says. When you are true to yourself about your needs and desires you will know it’s right because it feels right, right in your head, your heart and your soul. And when that happens, believe me, you’ll be so excited and you will want to move forward to making it happen! Seize this moment of motivation while it’s there and take the most effective action to the first step in moving you towards your heart’s desire!
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Note this quote
“ Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it.” H. L. Hunt
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Creative Capture
 AKIN FALOPE - Photographer aworanpix@gmail.com
http://www.myspace.com/aworanak
http://www.aworan.net/
http://woran.blogspot.com/
Akin has been a freelance photographer for 4 years. Exposed to photography at an early age through his father being a photographer, Akin never wanted to be a photographer, in fact he hated it thinking there is no money and no life in this for him.
He started off as a part-time as a student working as a picture Librarian at The Times newspaper where he saw archives of photographs and with them stories unfolded before him, images that words can never explain. That, combined with his love of studying people and how they express themselves emotionally and physically, led him to the camera to capture such expressiveness himself as a freelance photographer.
He works focuses mainly on street photography and music photography. Recently has covered in concert Missy Elliot, Lupe Fiasco, Beth Orton, Carlos Santana, B.B, King, John Legend, and other musicians. Currently, Akin is considering a photography experiment that would involve travelling Africa.
What inspired your decision to become a photographer?
It was a trip to Italy that got me into photography. I was in Napoli, South of Italy, and down there, they are expressive as Nigerians. I just wanted to capture their actions to tell a story. Although I specialised in Creative Writing and radio at College, I’m a bit lazy when it comes to writing. So, taking pictures seemed to be a more logical form of story telling for me. So, I bought myself a Nikon F65 automatic, and thus, started a journey of discovery, diplomacy, negotiation, capturing instances, and such. All the qualities needed in becoming a photographer. I never had any formal training. I initially started reading books on photography, and always trying to talk to any photographers at The Times. Later on, an old friend convinced me to take an evening class in photography, where I learned how to develop and process film, using 35mm lens and other techniques
What are your toughest challenges?
Getting gigs!! People assume that because you always take music shots, you have automatic entrance to taking pictures of musicians and performers. On the contrary!! It’s a nightmare and half.
Apart from that, many of the photographers in the circuit see themselves as part of a fraternity; Unless you have about 3 camera bodies or the biggest lens and work for a big agency, you’re not part of ‘The Club’. I guess at the end of the day, it’s how you interact with the photographers, really. I’m not saying one should kiss arse. You do that, and you might end up tasting something else. I guess it’s all about being diplomatic.
Having a good body or work is also tough challenge. You’re only as good as your last work, so you have to maintain the memento. And to have a good body of work, you need fresh creativity to sustain you, and also good equipment. Now, having the best gear around doesn’t automatically make you a good photographer. However, with demands placed on us by agencies, clients and picture desks, photographers have to invest in lens and cameras, and boy! It’s an expense you have to deal with.
Another tough challenge I face at times is not sacrificing or compromising my creativity in becoming a… Read more
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Sharing Soul Sentiments
I have recently just thrown away about a third of my graphic design and art portfolio. A third of work built up in the last 14 years in fact. That’s quite a bit of work! Which I had inevitably moved and stored with me for the past 14 years as well! I have to tell you while I was doing it I was beaming…it felt SOOO good to be clearing out all this dead weight. Why dead? Well, I figure since it doesn’t see the light of day but just taking up valuable space and collecting dust (and it weighed a ton), and in terms of developing my creativity there wasn’t much there to keep that I could develop (after all some of the pieces I did when I was merely a teenager and have since improved!) and so I only kept the pieces I am proud of, or could see potential development that could be worked with.
Also I am of the attitude that one should only keep what is either useful or beautiful, preferably both (and then that’s good design which would be sinful to chuck!). Anyway, back to the point, one of the reasons for this folio clear out is that come next year I will be finding a new home where I can have more space to create, live and work. And I have always yearned for one of those spacious gallery type light-filled studios with minimal unfixed furniture so I can create an inspiring and evolving creative space. To go with the new inspiring, evolving, creative new life I have been creating for myself. In order for that to happen I need to make space for it, in all sense of the word.
And so I thought it rather symbolic that I chose first to go through all my folios. To me it seemed that it was the final act in committing myself to being a creative coach more than a graphic designer so the throwing away of useless work I wouldn’t put my name to was fairly apt I thought. And I was smiling because the ease (and ruthlessness!) of which I found I was doing this, the sense of clearing, making space (physically, emotionally and mentally) for coaching as my chosen path, yet another confirmation that I had made the right choice – one that is aligned with my core values, and so the motivation to move towards it, to do what it takes was easy.
Looking through it all too was a little journey in itself, to see where I had come from to where I am creatively. Creativity and where you’re at with it, is very much a mirror of your self-expression at the time. Wow, what a journey it is! And the inspirational thing about it, is that it also made me feel excited about the new pieces I will create and develop in my new space.
So the clearing of my folios worked on many levels – cleared some space and dead weight away, took me on a journey that acknowledged my creative growth and development, inspired me to develop my creativity further, so much so that I’m thinking that this week I shall start clearing out some other folders and boxes, and attempt to keep only what is both useful and/or beautiful (not to the point of monk hood of course!). Can you imagine how much easier my move will be? Physically and metaphorically!
We carry with us so much useless junk, I read somewhere that when you die you’re not going to be taking it with you, so unless it is of some use to you now or near future, or is something of such timeless beauty that it fills you with wonder and awe and joy, really what use is it to us to hold on to all this past stuff kept in attics, under beds, in the “spare room”? Fourteen years I have been carrying and moving it with me from place to place (and that’s a lot of places believe me!), and yet after deciding to do this and doing it, it only took me 3 hours to clear it away. Funny that.
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About Sam Leongtave
Sam Leongtave is Creativity Coach for life and business as well as a fully qualified Graphic Designer. She coaches creatives, professionals and entrepreneurs to be empowered to be their best self, to live a life that more fully expresses their choices, who they truly are, personally and professionally. She is the publisher of the Jump! and founder of Noodlecrayon Coaching™ |
