Happy belated New Year and a warm welcome to the new subscribers to Jump! this month
This month’s issue of Jump! Is slightly different from the norm. The reason is pretty simple, given recent events in my personal life (of which you will read of more later) I simply have not had the time or energy to produce all the components that you normally receive in this free publication (and sadly I don’t have an assistant – yet - to help me out); also last minute my Creative Capture interviewee was unable to contribute so you’ll read of him in another issue, so with regret I am not been able to offer you a Creative Capture this month, but the main article is slightly meatier.
It also differs because whilst others at this time of the year (start of a new year), are writing about new resolutions, new challenges and new starts. Indeed a New Year can be seen as an exciting opportunity or as a daunting time that we know is the start of new challenges and changes. But I’m not going to write about that this month, and if you’re disappointed than I recommend you read the first issue – check it out on noodlecrayon blog via the website - on goal setting (a good way of actually getting those New Year’s Resolutions actually achieved).
Instead, in true Noodlecrayon style I’m going to go against the grain, go outside the box and write about something else entirely. I’ve just gone through (or rather I am still going through) an interesting juncture in life, with the highlight or peak (if you can call it that) being my recent pregnancy loss – so yes I’d say a time in life where I’m climbing above the small chaos that the Universe has recently sent me to test my wits, my strengths.
And it is through the climbing that I realise that this is a blessing in disguise. One that I hadn’t expected and led me to writing this month’s article “What happens when you let go?”. I draw directly from what this recent experience has taught me, what lessons, what gifts I have been shown. I simply wanted to share this with you in the hope that you also gain some powerful and positive insights for yourself, as I did, from it, what that is remains up to you of course.
Until next month,
be sweet, be peace, be true, be you!
*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Recommendations and offers
 Book: The Artist’s Way – A Course in Discovering and Recovering your Creative Self by Julia Cameron
Ok well, you may well have heard of this international bestseller, it’s pretty well-renowned and one, believe it or not, I have only just started reading myself. It’s been on the list for a while but have no regrets in not reading it sooner as I believe that everything has it’s time, and quite frankly any time before now wasn’t the right time!
From the moment I opened this book I was struck by a) the personal tone in which it is written that gives you a one-to-one experience, and b) the simple clarity in which it is written – no funny jargon, but in fact what I feel is written straight from the author’s own personal experience.
This book is a great starting point for anyone with a spiritual bent who feels somehow stuck or blocked in their pursuit of creative fulfilment. You know when you get the sense that you NEED to do something creative, produce something, make some art but don’t know what, or how, which way to go but the itch just gets stronger and you get more desperately frustrated that you can’t itch it cos you just can’t reach it? If you’re nodding furiously, than this is great book to get beyond those pesky barriers and that get you itching that creative itch!
The Artist’s Way provides a 12-week course that guides you through the process of recovering your creative self. It’s values and notions are incredibly similar to those of Noodlecrayon Coaching which made me feel particularly attracted to the book, and rather surprised I hadn’t listened to the whispers before (the ones from the Universe where this book has been mentioned or literally put in front of me and yet I never before now answered the invite to check it out) but undeniably serendipitous that I chose to pick it up at this current time in my life. I am so excited about this because it feels like I have stumbled across my own little creative mentor/coach that understands my own creative heart!
The exercises which aren’t chores like some self-help exercises in books can be, and in fact may be things you do already such as writing the morning pages (which to me is like writing in my personal journal) and Artist Date (a date with the artist in you), both of which I already did which gave me great joy as I then got to feel that this was not only easy, but a book written by someone who knows where I’m at in my creative journey having suggested stuff I already do! (Ah so easily pleased am I!).
I have to say though, like with any self-help book or tools, you actually do have to get off your behind and take some action, there is no magic wand and though the author may give the impression that the mysterious helping hands will come to our aid (and I believe they do) but you equally must do your part, and accept that of course life has it's ups and downs and you take that into consideration too as part of the course which may hamper our creative success, use this as a guide and don't expect it to be a magic wand.
If anyone else has read this and has any feedback comments on their experience in doing the 12week course feel free to share…in fact I was wondering if anyone might be interested in going through the course together, we could form an Artist Way group? What do you think? Let me know your thoughts by emailing me…
Buy it now from Amazon
*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Featured Article
What happens when you let go?
There are many times in life when the Universe throws something your way that blows you away in a manner that stops you dead in your tracks. There is no denying it, no running away, no hiding, and no shouting from the mountaintops either mind you.
Sometimes it’s a big shock to your world, sometimes it lands quietly in your world like a beautiful butterfly lightly landing, unexpectantly on your shoulder. Whatever it is you will recognize at the time it is taking place that something bigger than yourself and the world as you know it is at work. Some call it God, some Life, Higher Consciousness, some the Universe (which is what I choose to call it). Whatever it is and what name you choose to label it with, the experience leaves you feeling somewhat humble, stronger, wiser, grateful and blessed.
I am having one of those times now. Five weeks ago, I was about to embark on a liveaboard diving trip to a dive site called Cod Hole in the national marine park known as the Great Barrier Reef, that I had decided 3 years ago when I was last diving, I would one day go on. Once booked I had been looking forward to it for weeks, given that I love exploring this underwater world of ours, this was my real holiday, a real treat to myself.
The day before I was about to fly from Melbourne to Queensland I tested positively pregnant. I was at first in a state of slight shock, but my partner and I were pretty pleased and excited at the prospect of having a mini-us and elated and honoured to be given such a gift as prospective parents. But it didn’t really start hitting me until a friend pointed out to me that I couldn’t go diving. It was then that I sprung into action – what do you mean I can’t go diving?! That was the first point when I started to realize what impact this was going to have on my life.
I have adorable nieces and a nephew, and many friends with children, a few doctors amongst them and we have spent years round the kitchen table discussing pregnancy, in all its’ technicolour gory details that your friends who aren’t medics wouldn’t normally discuss with non-mothers at the risk of putting them off, so I thought of myself as the a pretty knowledgeable non-mother on the subject of pregnancy and motherhood (oh how wrong can one be!). It’s one thing to have knowledge about something but its quite another to know of something through experience alone, to know, to feel it in your bones.
All that unusual tiredness (even though I’d been sleeping for 10 hours straight), all that constant weeing, and extremely heightened sense of smell that made me want to vomit started to make more sense. I was surprisingly calm given that I had previously had a little initial resistance to having my entire life change over night by this, thinking that I wasn’t prepared in any way for this kind of life-changing experience. But then again how often are we ever really prepared to embrace major life-changing experiences though?
Jonno (my lovely partner) being hugely excited and supportive about it helped though I have to say it took me a good few weeks of getting my head around it all with all the usual millions of questions that expectant first-time mothers have going round in her head, not helped by all those damn pesky hormones that have invaded what once you held to be your body but now feels like a host body over which you have no control over. But I was happy, and surprisingly the calmness with which I took the news seem to embrace me completely like a soothing cool light sarong that I so needed being pregnant in this 30 degree heat with humidity that Far North Queensland calls the Wet Season. I knew that so many things in life are beyond our control and we are fools to think we are always in control. It was no point worrying about the pregnancy, what kind of parents would be, if we could afford a child living in central London. The future laid ahead unknown, and with anticipation, I quietly let go, I surrendered.
Whatever worried thoughts I had before seemed irrelevant and pointless, I had bigger (or rather at this stage, rather small actually) things on my mind - or rather in my belly! It is true life can change in a nano-second indeed. We had been given a gift, and for that Jonno and I were filled with gratitude for the priviledge given to us.
Yes it did mean that I couldn’t go diving (gutted!) or even white water-rafting (I thought at least I could do that!) and no more sashimi and oysters washed down with a refreshingly cool Sauvignon Blanc for me. But these were minor sacrifices that didn’t bother me at all. I couldn’t think of a better reason not to indulge in my usual hair-raising active adventures or favourite seafood I normally indulge in on holiday. What joys that lied ahead of me would more than make up for it. On the diving boat I even had a snorkeling buddy as another lady was pregnant and her and her husband had booked way before they discovered her pregnancy. How blessed was I?!
Then I started to bleed. But wait more luck – it just so happens that there was a family on board diving together and I went up to ask the mum if this was normal in pregnancy to which to my utter delight she replied that the best person to speak to was her husband who was an obstetrician! Serendipitous! I was indeed looked after from those above. I was a tad worried admittedly but had already read up a fair bit on pregnancy in the excellent book “What to Expect when you’re expecting” so knew that spotting was nothing to worry about. That was until of course I continue to bleed for longer than the average 2-3 days recognized in pregnancy to be spotting. I still remained calm, continued to look after myself best I could given the traveling circumstances, including sending my tender as Kangaroo steak back to the kitchen to be cooked to well done – that almost made me cry as that meat was beautiful! And continued to refrain from oysters and took folic acid supplements instead. No point in worrying, besides I wasn’t in physical pain so it can’t be that bad (I.e an ectopic pregnancy) and I couldn’t do anything until I flew back to Melbourne anyway after the diving trip.
Back in Melbourne, after several trips to the hospital for some prodding and poking, test results confirmed that I had indeed miscarried. Not that one would’ve known for the lack of non-medical jargon given to me in a way of explanation. It’s true what they say about medics having no bedside manner. This kind of news was everyday to them, but to me - once I got it explained to me in layman’s terms - it was devastating. All this happened in a space of a mere 3 weeks.
There are many lessons learnt here for me personally, I learnt a lot about my life and myself through my relatively short time of this experience, my entire attitude and approach to life changed almost overnight and as a result so did my world. I came to grips fairly easily with the reality of being pregnant and all that brings you physically, emotionally – after all I had wanted a child for 3 years now and it had been granted to me. I felt that spiritually this is a start of the most challenging, uplifting, inspiring, spiritual journey of my lifetime that I would experience, and it was one that I was taking quietly, gracefully into my stride.
The biggest and most valuable lesson here for me, that will see me through the end of glorious days on this beautiful planet is this – the lesson of surrender. I had no idea what was happening to and inside my body bar that it was baby-making (though I thought I did as a knowledgeable non-mother but now I truly know that knowing is not the same as experiencing); I had no idea what it felt like to be in the place I was as this was my first time.
Even though I have made mental notes for myself of what a good mother would be like since I was a teen, telling myself to remember what it feels like to be a tormented rebellious teenager so I could be a more understanding mother, even without all the articles I have kept on parenting, the small mental notes I had taken from watching “Supernanny” (a British TV show heralding a nanny-like children’s behaviour expert giving tips on how to handle tantrum children) and observing tips from my friends who are mothers I realized as a potential mother I really I had no idea how I would be as a mother.
And all my plans for developing the coaching business, my dreams, everything, my entire life – well, it didn’t matter in the same way anymore, I had a bigger and better reason for my existence – the upbringing, the caring, the loving of this, my, our child. I felt I got a glimpse of what it really meant to be a parent. I didn’t know how I was going to do this but I knew intuitively that I would be fine. The Universe only gives you what you can handle I told myself.And with that knowledge, the knowledge that I actually wasn’t in control of this, I surrendered. Maybe it was time to hand it all over to the Universe to have a go instead.
Surrendered to what the Universe had in store for me. Whatever will be will be. And it was all good. I had just barely accepted this when I lost bubba. Words, in my limited use of them anyway, cannot even begin to describe what I felt and sometimes still feel. Lost, dazed, confused, angry, despair, helpless, weak, alone - yes, but so much more than that. What the hell happened? How the hell did it happen? What could I have done to prevent this? What did I do to cause it? What will happen now? Can I conceive in the future? What does this mean? But mostly why in God’s name why?! Because quite frankly I just didn’t understand it.
It is said that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriages. Yet how come all the friends I have who are all mothers (bar a few who are still in their wild abandonment of crazy days of youth) that not one single one have experienced a miscarriage if it’s so damn common? Why can’t I get any information about it to explain what happened that makes sense? All this medical jargon about chromosomes, nature’s way and so on. I have to be honest here, none of these answers just didn’t seem to make me feel any better. The only thing that did was the fact that the Universe only gives you what you can handle, along with you can’t always get what you want but you always get what you need.
Which brings me back to the point of this article. What happens when you let go? You surrender. Firstly when I discovered I was pregnant, realizing that I was not in the driving seat here, I learnt that I needed to let go, let go of my disillusion that I was in total control here, I let go to what might be, good or bad – I drew strength and joy in my belief then that Life, the Universe knows what it was doing, and all would be marvelous.
I come back to this surrendering once again after the loss, so this time not in a positive place but in a negative one. Different situation, same response. Surrender is not giving up, but a lesson in acceptance, having faith and trust.
I have faith and trust that though it doesn’t feel like it right now, the Universe knows what it’s doing – even if I don’t know what that is and like an indignant child I certainly am not liking it right now! Later on, in time, with perspective I will see how the journey enfolds, and I will see that it, this part of life’s mystical puzzle will fit into place, in the grand scheme of things.
With that comes a certain kind of peace amongst the chaos. I let go of all the futile questioning that bears no fulfilling answer to ease the pain. I let go of needing certainties and explanations – after all there are no certainties in life (except death and taxes!), and some things cannot be explained – such is the magical mystery of life.
I choose to continue on this path of graceful surrender and acceptance, surrendering and accepting to life, to what the Universe has in store for me for I am utterly sure it is way better a plan than I can possibly imagine for myself.
Because of this I can see and experience all the positives of this experience. My relationships are better, stronger as I am blown away by the amount of support my friends and strangers alike worldwide have shown me throughout the entire experience from start to finish, from recommendations and well-wishing from utter strangers and friends alike on the other side of the world. My world opened up and blossomed in ways I didn’t expect. I have experienced the deepest gratitude, happiness and sadness, I have felt more alive, more loved, more at peace, and have as a result become stronger, wiser and richer in so many ways, than I have ever felt before.
Surrender puts you in the flow of the natural order of the Universe. When you do this life takes a major swing in the positive stakes. Faith and trust come hand in hand with your resolve to be guided by your intuition, and to be free of a constant stream of thoughts and emotions.
So what happens when you let go? When you surrender, you stop resisting (consciously or unconsciously) you accept, you move in tune with the consciousness of the Universe. This helps you act with a deep understanding of what is best for you on all levels. You detach from all outcomes, which makes a huge difference.
You decide that everything (yes everything) that happens to you is perfect, that whatever happens to you is for your greatest good. This is actually the truth. So if whatever happens to you is for your benefit, than you can be grateful for it. Ok yes it can be very tough, but if you can come to an understanding that the things, people, events that present you with your toughest ordeals, they are often your greatest helpers and teachers, you’d be grateful to them instead of criticizing and fighting them.
If there are tips in how to let go, I can only offer you what I try and share with you my experience from trying. Maintain a spiritual viewpoint as much as you can. That means know that there is a bigger, higher picture to everything, even if you can’t see what it is. The mind only gives you a limited picture. There is a higher view of what is happening and a good reason for it – honestly!
Release your reactions, focus on faith and trust in the higher purpose of what is taking place. Be determined to stay in your balanced and stable space, there you will find your peace. When this is established you will find that you are living in each moment, in the present. You will say and do only what resonates and feels right for you –imagine what that would be like. Struggle, effort, pain, and suffering are replaced with lightness, joy, happiness, love, excitement. Your world will burst into blossom and life will flow.
*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Note this quote
“ Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. ” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Sharing Soul Sentiments
It’s funny, despite the statistics say 1 in 4 women have miscarriages, yet I have not known of one single woman in my circle of females (quite a few) that have miscarried, or maybe they just haven’t shared their story for one reason or another, because it’s not usually happy news. And when they do it’s sometimes painful to share. In trying to find some info and support, I came across these tips which I thought was actually really useful...
Tips on what NOT to say after a miscarriage or pregnancy loss.
In trying to be helpful and caring we often find ourselves saying things that we think would make the person feel better, but in fact, makes them feels worse. Here are some do’s and don’t of what to say to a person who has lost, and who is probbaly still a little hormonal as the body and mind readjusts to the loss…
Never say these phrases:
• "You can always have another."
They don't want another baby, they want this baby.
• "Now you have an angel looking after you."
They don't want an angel, they want their baby back.
• "It's for the best."
Best for whom?
• "At least you didn't know your baby."
Whether you held your baby in your arms or only in your mind, this baby is real.
• "There must have been something wrong..."
Wrong with me?
• "Did you do something you weren't supposed to do?
Did I cause this? How could I have hurt my baby?
• "I understand how you feel."
Even if you have had a miscarriage, everyone feels their grief uniquely.
• "Have you ever thought of not having children?"
Yes, I probably have. I realize that I may never be a mother.
• "Be grateful for the children you have..."
It isn't a question of being ungrateful or not appreciating what I have.
Things to say:
• "I'm sorry..."
• "What can I do to help ..."
• "I'm here for you..."
Remember to take time to be kind and gentle with your friend or relative. Every one has their own grieving ways and time frame. Don't expect them to "get over it." Just be there and offer a shoulder and a comforting hug. Pregnancy is a very physical experience and having physical support in a caring touch like a hug helps the healing process immensely. Group hug everyone! ;-)
*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
About Sam Leongtave
Sam Leongtave is Creativity Coach for life and business as well as a fully qualified Graphic Designer. She coaches creatives, professionals and entrepreneurs to be empowered to be their best self, to live a life that more fully expresses their choices, who they truly are, personally and professionally. She is the publisher of the Jump! and founder of Noodlecrayon Coaching™ |
